The #DeleteFacebook trend has users searching for a better social network.

​Guess what: You’re soaking in it.

Everybody uses Facebook because everybody uses Facebook. But lately Facebook — and all the other social networks, for that matter — seems to be turning into a distracting, time-wasting and manipulative “surveillance machine” that does more harm than good.

This is a huge problem for professionals and businesses of all sizes, including enterprises. As I wrote in this column, “Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg is transferring wealth from your company to his.”

 It’s become clear that social networks exist to extract attention and personal information from you — the more, the better. 

But we’re afraid to cut the cord, and we feel stuck because we want to stay in touch with people and also discover content that’s valuable to us. We also try to have a presence in most of the popular social networks.

The trouble is, which is the “good” social network? We really don’t have a lot of options.

Or do we?

Of course, you’ve seen my headline, so you know I’m going to argue for using email as a social network.

Nathan Schneider, a professor of media studies at the University of Colorado, said it best:  “Email is the most resilient social network on the internet … and the thing that allows it to adapt is that it’s an open protocol, and people build apps on top of it, and we evolve how we use it.” 

Let me explain why email is by far the best social network.

A year ago, email was considered a throwback to a previous era. Millennials never used it. Messaging, social and team-collaboration platforms would soon replace it. And the business world would eventually phase it out.

Except none of this is really true — or even advisable. In fact, email has been, is and will continue to be superior to newer communications media. One reason is sheer size (enhanced network effect).

Facebook is considered the dominant social network because, as of Q4 last year, it had 2.2 billion monthly active users.

Impressive, but not as impressive as the 3.8 billion email users estimated by market research firm Radicati Group. And email users send hundreds of billions of emails every day.

Google, which now has 1.2 billion email users, according to a company spokesperson, rules the email universe. Google’s Gmail and Inbox services are also both the most innovative and best-supported platforms (often through Chrome extensions).

Google last month unveiled a new specification for something called AMP for email.

AMP, which stands for Accelerated Mobile Pages, has existed for two and a half years as a way to speed up web pages on mobile, especially news stories and other journalistic content. It’s been so successful that AMP now drives more traffic to publishers than Facebook does.

AMP for email essentially enables publishers to send emails that are contained within the web itself (instead of containing elements loaded from the web or containing links to the web). That means emails that support AMP for email can be radically interactive. Emails are also refreshed when opened, so you can update content after sending.

AMP is currently available in the form of the Google Developer Preview, but the company plans to offer it to all email clients as open source.

AMP for email is controversial because some consider it technological overkill or because it calls on a platform with open standards to use a Google standard. Still, it’s an example of the technological superiority of email over messaging, social and team-collaboration platforms, which can’t do half the things email can do.

Another Googly example is SmartReply, which uses some of the most advanced neural network tech on the planet to guess how you want to reply, then offering those options with a click.

Social networking advocates say that social networks are made out of people, so it’s wrong to #DeleteFacebook or to become a Twitter quitter. Staying connected is good.

The trouble with social networks, however, is not the people, but the sites themselves.

The biggest problem with social networks is that they’re designed with advanced A.I. to turn you into an addict. They suck you in, and systematically learn how to manipulate your brain, so that you spend hours every day descending into a rabbit hole of unproductive distraction.

The best solution is to use email as the interface to all social networks. In other words, keep the people, but drop the social apps and sites, for the most part.

Here’s how.

On each of the social networks, go spend some quality time setting up email notifications to receive the minimal notifications necessary to keep in touch with people on those networks.

On Facebook, your notification settings are here. Turn off all except Email notifications. Click on “Edit” next to “Email” and carefully tailor what you get. I recommend receiving email notifications only from “Close friends” and nothing else. You may need to first figure out who you want to include or fine-tune your group of close friends.

Do the same with Twitter, Google+ and all the other social networks that are used by people you want to stay in touch with.

In your email application or site, use filters or rules to drop all social notifications into a dedicated folder. (Note that if you use Google’s Inbox, you can use Gmail to adjust the settings and they’ll apply also to Inbox.)

In desktop Gmail, create a “Social” folder, then click on the gear menu icon and choose “Settings.” Click on “Filters and Blocked Addresses” and set up rules for incoming social notifications to be dropped into your new “Social” folder.

It’s time to fall back in love with email. Not only is email the biggest, best and most advanced social network,  it’s also the best and least-distracting interface to the lesser social networks. 

Stop letting Facebook and other social networks control your attention. Use email, and take back control.

Cold climates are associated with early death and illness.

Why cold weather is bad for your health. It’s a question most Canadians entertain at least once a winter, but many of us manage to dismiss it. Some people even convince themselves they are stronger and harder for their suffering.

 Not so!  New research from the University of Toronto suggests that cold climates are associated with early death and more illness — and the colder it is, the worse you fare.

Previous studies have found that people living in colder climates compared to warmer climates have poorer health and that even the ability to think clearly can be impaired by the cold. But now Kue Young at the Dalla Lana School of Public Health in Toronto and his colleague Tiina Makinen at the University of Oulu in Finland have examined the relationship between temperature and health in the Arctic. A cold environment, they say in a paper recently published in the American Journal of Human Biology, is itself a health hazard.

The researchers looked at 27 separate Arctic regions spanning the U.S., Canada, the Russian Federation, and the Nordic countries. They generated mean temperatures for January and July for each of the regions by consulting temperature records for the 30 years between 1961 and 1990. Alaska, for instance, averages a reasonable -11 C in January, whereas Nunavut hovers down around -29 C, and Russia’s Sakha Republic clocks in even lower at -38 C. (Toronto’s mean temperature in January is -4C.)

Then they looked at various health outcomes in these regions — how long people live, how often babies perish, and what diseases the populations suffer from. They also took other factors into consideration, such as population density, average wealth, and education levels.

Cold temperatures in winter, they found, were independently associated with lower life expectancy in both men and women and higher infant mortality rates. This held true even after socioeconomic status and health care were taken into account. Specifically, for every 10 C colder it was, a male could expect to live six fewer years, and four additional babies for every 1,000 born alive would die in infancy.

Other factors were also important, such as education levels, the percentage of the population that was indigenous, and the per capita health expenditures. And the researchers admit that information they didn’t have access to, such as how many people smoked, were inactive, or were overweight, could also be important. Even the effect of reduced sunlight in winter could play a role, they say.

But in general, where health is concerned, cold is bad, and colder is worse.

More than a third of U.S. adults are Obese.

 Obese is a medical term that means you weigh at least 20% more than what is ideal for your height, often because of body fat.  It’s measured by BMI (body mass index): 30% and higher is considered obese. That extra weight, especially as fat around your waist, can lead to health issues that often feed off of each other. Shedding pounds may prevent, slow, or even reverse many of them.

Symptoms associated with Obesity:

Your larger body may prevent your lungs from expanding fully, and your breathing muscles may not work as well, so you can’t take enough air in.

Inflammation linked to belly fat may also affect your lungs. You could get winded quickly while doing simple activities like climbing stairs. Extra weight can make asthma symptoms and COPD worse.

When fat builds up in your liver, it may make scar tissue (a condition known as cirrhosis) that can eventually shut your liver down completely. Symptoms may not appear until the damage is done.

Doctors don’t know exactly what causes fatty liver disease, but you’re more likely to have problems when you’re overweight, especially in middle age.

More weight puts more strain on your joints and on the cartilage that protects the ends of your bones, causing pain and stiffness. More body fat may also trigger more inflammation. Just 5% less body weight will take pressure off of your hips, lower back, and knees.

(That’s dropping from 200 pounds to 190.) Exercise is one of the best things you can do for arthritis. Talk to your doctor about what kind and how much is right for you.

While your genes have some influence, what you eat and how much you exercise also play a role. Unhealthy foods can raise your weight and your “bad” LDL cholesterol and triglyceride levels.

Foods with soluble fiber — like oats and other whole grains, beans, apples, grapes, strawberries, eggplant, and okra — will help get your cholesterol down as well as fill you up so you eat fewer calories.

If bile, a type of digestive fluid, doesn’t move through your gallbladder like it should, it could harden into pebbles. The most common type is made up of mostly cholesterol.

Obese women have higher odds of getting them. You may have more cholesterol in your bile because your blood cholesterol or triglyceride levels are high (or you take medicine to lower them) or you have extra estrogen from birth control, hormone replacement therapy, or pregnancy.

Belly fat is linked to insulin resistance. That’s when your body makes insulin, but your cells can’t use it properly to get glucose out of your blood.

Higher-than-normal blood sugar can become diabetes and may lead to trouble with your heart, nerves, eyes, and more. About 8 out of 10 people who get type 2 diabetes are overweight. There’s no cure once you have it, but losing weight may help with its symptoms and prevent complications.

Built-up uric acid in your body can form needle-like crystals that make joints like your big toe, ankle, or knee hurt.

The likelihood of a flare goes up with the number on the scale and the amount of belly fat, especially when you have high blood sugar and cholesterol problems, too. A heart-healthy diet and exercise habits may help lower the level of uric acid as well as your weight.

When your body is large, your heart has to pump harder to get blood to all of your cells. That force pushes on your artery walls and may be damaging them.

Your doctor will probably recommend that you exercise 20-30 minutes most days, limit sodium to 1,500 milligrams a day, and don’t smoke. Getting your BMI close to 25 often helps bring blood pressure down.

Obesity — and diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and inflammation related to it — can wear on your arteries, turning them thick and stiff.

Narrow or clogged vessels can’t get enough blood to the cells in your organs and tissues. Although you may not have any symptoms at first, this poor circulation may eventually lead to a heart attack, heart failure, or a stroke.

Your kidneys filter blood and help control your blood pressure. But they can’t do their jobs when fat builds up inside them and presses on blood vessels, or when the vessels that bring blood to them are clogged.

That can lead to a dangerous buildup of waste in your body. Kidney disease can be a complication of diabetes and high blood pressure, yet it can also be partly a direct result of obesity.

A chubby neck can narrow your airway, making it harder to breathe at night. You might snore loudly or stop breathing for several seconds over and over.

When that happens, you aren’t getting the restful sleep you need. It can make you tired and groggy and lead to mood, memory, and heart problems.

Moms-to-be who are overweight are more likely to get gestational diabetes and preeclampsia, dangerously high blood pressure that can harm both you and your baby.

There’s a greater chance that you’ll need a C-section to give birth and that your baby could be born too soon, be stillborn, or have brain or spinal cord problems. Work with your doctor to manage your weight safely when you’re pregnant.

When you gain weight as an adult, whether or not it makes you obese, you’re more likely to get some cancers, including breast, colorectal, endometrial, and kidney.

It might be because fat cells make hormones that change how cells grow. Or it might be that habits that lead to weight gain are similar to those that lead to cancer. Eat healthily and stay active to help avoid cancer, regardless of your weight.

#3: Friendships are frequently more steadfast

I just want to preface this article by saying that there is not necessarily any legitimate weight to the claims I’m making. They are merely reflections of my own thoughts and experiences.

With all of that said, I lived in Germany for four years teaching English in different international schools, tutoring German children outside school, traveling, befriending Europeans (several of whom I grew quite close with), and writing a travel blog while there.

Living in Europe has given me a different perspective for which I am so thankful. This has added richness to my life in monumental ways. It’s given me different ideas about how one might live, having experienced alternative value systems and varying ways of things being done.

The things I personally have loved about living in Europe thus far (and in no specific order):
Café culture. The U.S. is mainly dominated by sit-down restaurants or unwelcoming to-go eateries where one is encouraged to grab their food and hurry on out.

Either way, one often gets the sense of being hustled out of these places the very second they have taken their last bite. This is kind of a bummer. It doesn’t really allow one the chance to feel relaxed, as though they can linger and just hang out for a while.

 But cafes allow this, and actually, they encourage it.  Cafes are often inviting, charming, cozy. They tend to have an atmosphere that encourages people to sit for a long time, all afternoon if they might like, with absolutely no pressure to leave. There isn’t pressure to spend loads of money either (since people aren’t working for tips) in order to earn the allowance to stay.

The concept of a café is, with the purchase of a cup of coffee or tea, you are more than welcome to hunker down, revel, while the afternoon away for as long as you please.

I love this. I think it encourages a mindset of truly enjoying life and the company of others. Of actually taking time to relax into the moment. Of now always hurrying and rushing on to the next thing. Of appreciating and reveling in what and who is right in front of us, without pressure to race off to somewhere else.

It’s SO much better than in the U.S. On the one hand, I admire the ambition the U.S. encourages. There is definitely an aura of motivated desire for achievement in America that can absolutely be a good thing if harnessed correctly and not taken to the extreme.

However. I think in the U.S., they often take this to the very extreme. With regards to the hire-and-fire mentality that seems to infiltrate most of the workforce mindset, the minimal to non-existent allotted paid vacation time people receive, and the overworked and often underpaid way that many people are pushed towards. All of this to me adds up to less life happiness. It adds up to more stress, more pressure, less free time, and less mental and physical health.

In America, the mindset is generally that one should live to work. But in Europe, it’s that you work to live.

In Europe, your job is a means to fund the rest of your life. A career is still an important and fulfilling part of life to many, many people. But family is equally, if not more important. Time with friends. Time to pursue passions and hobbies. Time to relax and actually feel good. Time to visit other parts of the world and actually see the planet on which we live. All of this is just as important as a career in Europe.

And in the U.S., it is not touted as being this way. Job is first, everything else is at the bottom of the rung, which I think is a disheartening, lesser, and stressful way to live. It’s so important that one’s life outside of work is given equal weight, priority, time, and value as part of what is important in life. You get one opportunity to be here alive on this earth. You don’t want to look back and realize that most of what you did was work, work, work.

I found that the friendships in Europe, in general, tend to be approached in a more steadfast way than how Americans often approach friendship.

Americans are often more bubbly and may act as a friend more quickly, which they may or may not really mean over the long term. Americans are quick to say, “Oh my god, let’s hang out next week,” and equally as quick to not follow up or through on it. In Europe, though, friendships stereotypically take a bit longer to establish, many Europeans take a bit longer to warm up to you, BUT I discovered that once they do, they are generally the real deal.

You will meet hundreds of people throughout your life. Most of whom you will not connect with deeply. Most of whom you will not love. Most of whom will not go on to become “your people.”

Therefore, when you find the ones you do really connect with, when you find the ones you do feel yourself loving when you find “your people,” whether romantic, platonic, or familial, hold on to them. Put in the effort to maintain those connections. Those are rare, and that is what makes life AWESOME, full, and are what will bring you the most joy.

When living in Europe, I made the least amount of money I’ve ever made in my life. Probably the equivalent of something like 30k annually while working as a teacher. I was also still paying $300 a month on my student loans back home. Yet, somehow I was able to make it work that I could travel quite a bit over the four years I lived there. I traveled throughout Germany, went to Italy, Portugal, Hungary, Sweden, Scotland, France, and the Czech Republic.

Yes, I was living check to check. Yes, I had to be super frugal on these trips. But it was so much easier to make these happen rather than if I’d been traveling over to Europe from the U.S. For example, one week in Portugal can be done for 500 euro total, from the standpoint of living here in Europe. That is including airfare, Airbnb, and spending money for the week. A steal of a deal.

If I were to plan that same trip but from the U.S., the total would be a couple thousand dollars, so this aspect about living in Europe is THE BOMB!

Enough said. This makes a HUGE difference, in terms of feeling motivated at work during the rest of the year, in terms of feeling rested, refreshed, and healthier, in terms of having things to look forward to often, and in terms of just increasing life satisfaction and awesomeness. This relates back to point #2 regarding work/life balance.

These are prevalent throughout all of Europe but they are especially concentrated in Germany. For someone who is passionate about Christmas, this was an especially compelling point regarding what made living in Europe fantastic. Christmas, for me, feels magical and romantic. It fills me with feelings of nostalgia.

I always feel especially happy and grateful around that time of year, for the great people I have in my life to whom I am close. I love baking and cooking. Love the parties, the decorations, the lights, the glittering snowfalls. I just love everything about Christmas and Christmas markets are the epitome of Christmas splendor and magic.

These super sweet, romantic, magical, ornate cities and villages are littered throughout Europe in a thankfully large number. These spots give their visitors a sense of having traveled back in time when one visits. They help us remember to slow down. When wandering these tiny towns, they evoke feelings of romance, awe, and wonder.

I sadly did not get to take advantage of this awesomeness, but in general, education in Europe is far more attainable as opposed to somewhere like the U.S., where getting a basic college education leaves most people nearly bankrupt, which sort of defeats the purpose of obtaining a degree in the first place.

Because then when one enters the workforce, they have to start off with a major financial blow right from the start, which tends to follow them for years and years before they are able to actually pay off the loans in the first place.

Romantic. Taking a train ride has an old-time feel to it. Old school and charming. I love the excitement of going somewhere and yes, an airplane ride can give one the same feelings, but with a train ride, you can actually see the landscape in significant, nuanced detail as it passes by your window. Train travel is the best and it’s prevalent as a means of transportation throughout Europe.

Some of the most scenic places of my life were viewed from the windows of a train, winding its way through part of Europe while sitting inside by the window, gazing outward. (One I can think of right off the bat, traveling to Zermatt, Switzerland, the train curving and bending its way alongside the staggering, snowy, vast Swiss Alps).

Europeans tend to dress way better than Americans. When walking around during my daily life here, I could almost always pick out the American tourists right away. Their manner of dress tends to be…plainer…dumpier…cheaper…just less refined and with less effort, than say Europeans tend to dress.

Europeans believe that the way you present yourself matters. That what you wear exudes and says something. They like to feel and look good. Personally, I think there’s merit to this. Knowing you look your best impacts your emotional and mental state in positive ways. It’s also more fun to people watch when other’s are dressed in interesting, fun, or fashionable ways. It adds pizazz to the landscape at large.

 I realized this to the full degree when I returned to the U.S. for a visit after being abroad for two years. I’d been thrilled, filled with tittering anticipation, to go on a no-holds-barred eating extravaganza. I had a list, literally, that I had compiled of all the mouthwatering and wildly unhealthy things I wanted to eat, which I cannot get here in Europe.

However, upon first embarking on a said eating spree, I was shocked to find myself wracked with stomach pains, my skin broke out horribly, and I went on to gain roughly 5 lbs/2.5kg in the span of a few weeks. I felt AWFUL. It was one of the worst periods I have ever felt in my life, health-wise.

And I realized as I was eating these foods, which I’d dreamed about for so long, that actually, a lot of them didn’t taste quite as great as I remembered. They tasted fatty, thick, chemical-laden, fake, sugary (too much even for my taste), just yuck. To my surprise, I found myself longing for the foods I’d grown used to eating in my life overseas. Simple, fresh, unprocessed foods.

Therefore, to me, the diet and foods generally opted for and readily available in the U.S. are problematic in terms of long-term health, weight maintenance, how one feels on the inside both emotionally and with regards to how their body functions, and more.

Of course, healthy food is available in most places if one truly wants to seek it out and maintain that type of lifestyle. But the U.S. makes it more difficult to maintain a healthy lifestyle, that’s for sure. Healthy food is WAY more expensive in America than it is in Europe, and with the easy availability of all sorts of junk, as well as people typically being overworked, it’s so much easier to reach for the crappy stuff in the U.S.

A Porsche used to scream “Be Friends With Me!”

In my 20s, luxury and entrepreneur bullsh*t defined me. I chased success like a dog follows a shank bone. In my 30s, money became kind of ridiculous. A dramatic shift has occurred. The title of this story, which comes from a quote by entrepreneur Anthony Pompliano, helps to explain it.

Let’s dissect the real meaning of money so you don’t fall in love with it and accidentally discover a world of broken dreams.

The Idea of True Wealth Is Broken
True wealth isn’t luxury, millions of followers, or a fake ass Dan Blazerian life holding guns like Rambo and collecting exotic animals that are pleading to be released to their natural homes and take a break from phone cameras. This is what true wealth looks like:

A book a week
Books connect you to humanity. They take you out of your head and place you in the author’s head. Most of us get zero time to read. Books are long. Time outside of work is short. Impressive people have bought their time back so they can read a book a week if they choose.

A good night’s sleep
Ever met angry people at work? It’s either a lack of sleep or a poor diet that throws their energy down the drain. Buying your freedom back gives you the opportunity to sleep more. Eight hours is recommended. Nine hours on some days is a real luxury. Add in afternoon naps and you start to feel like a different person. Energy is a better form of wealth than money.

No work on weekends
Your mind needs decompression time. Time to join the dots between all of the inputs for the week so you can grow as a person. When you’re a slave to money, work tends to creep into the weekend. Your mind can’t fully disconnect, so proximity to your goals starts to fade. Weekends are for play.

A clear conscience
I don’t know how certain people make it through the day. I’ve worked with some businesses that simply do evil so they can make a buck. They know what they’re doing is wrong.

They know they’re wrecking society for future generations. But they simply flick a switch. Prioritizing time over money has helped me gain a clear conscience. It makes day-to-day life less stressful. Less stress equals wealth.

A walk with no destination
Walking is better than a rushed workout at a packed gym next to your workplace, where the loud techno drowns out the potential for peace and quiet. Since I got a hearing condition called tinnitus, I’ve begun walking more.

Placing one step in front of the other acts like meditation. It’s why many entrepreneurs love walking meetings. You can walk along tracks that people from hundreds of years ago set foot on. You can ponder what life was like for them. Walking is true wealth.

A family who knows you
Those busy startup worshippers and those high-flying executives that all chase money hide the truth: their families barely know them. They’re never there. A birthday party for their kid is an option, not a priority.

They spend more time with “the business” than their family. So their business booms but their family drifts further apart. Often it ends in divorce or raising out-of-control kids. Time with family is wealth.

Entrepreneurs or leaders who sit in back-to-back meetings all day just aren’t cool anymore. That’s so early 2000s. The new status symbol isn’t a Lambo or a Gucci handbag. Nope. The new status is freedom. Freedom equals free time.

A few months ago I cut the chains of my cubicle job. No more drama. No more politics. No more wondering who the next moron would be to throw some poor sucker under the bus and get a promotion.

It’s scary at first. A day full of zero commitments. A daily routine where you actually have time to goof off and do whatever you want. Now that I’ve had a taste of a calendar with zero meetings, I’m addicted.

I don’t ever want this to stop. That’s why I use whatever entrepreneurial skills I have to ensure my tiny side business stays alive. If my business dies it’s not a 9–5 job with a bad boss that scares me. No.

I’m scared I’ll have to hand over the keys to my calendar again and let corporate bros in pinstripe suits waste my day because they refuse to accept what the internet has done to business — and what blockchain is about to do to traditional businesses with their heads in the clouds.

Forget luxury status, “founder” and “C-level” titles, and throwing cash into the air on an Instagram Reel. Become obsessed with freedom. It will change how you work forever. You’ll stop chasing money. Anthony Pompliano is right. Time is the ultimate measure of wealth.

All that impresses me now is freedom. The rest is bullsh*t.

Most people feel Younger or Older than they really are –

and this “subjective age” has a big effect on their physical and mental health.

Imagine, for a moment, that you had no birth certificate and your age was simply based on how you feel inside. How old would you say you are?

Like your height or shoe size, the number of years that have passed since you first entered the world is an unchangeable fact. But everyday experience suggests that we often don’t experience aging the same way, with many people feeling older or younger than they really are.

Scientists are increasingly interested in this quality. They are finding that your ‘subjective age’ may be essential for understanding why some people appear to flourish as they age – while others fade. “The extent to which older adults feel much younger than they are may determine important daily or life decisions for what they will do next,” says Brian Nosek at the University of Virginia.

Its importance doesn’t end there. Various studies have even shown that your subjective age can predict various important health outcomes, including your risk of death. In some very real ways, you really are “only as old as you feel.”

Given these enticing results, many researchers are now trying to unpick the many biological, psychological, and social factors that shape the individual experience of aging – and how this knowledge might help us live longer healthier lives.

This new understanding of the aging process has been decades in the making. Some earliest studies charting the gap between felt and chronological age appeared in the 1970s and 1980s. That trickle of initial interest has now turned into a flood. A torrent of new studies during the last 10 years have explored the potential psychological and physiological consequences of this discrepancy.

One of the most intriguing strands of this research has explored how subjective age interacts with our personality. It is now well accepted that people tend to mellow as they get older, becoming less extroverted and less open to new experiences – personality changes that are less pronounced in people who are younger at heart and accentuated in people with older subjective ages.

Interestingly, however, the people with younger subjective ages also became more conscientious and less neurotic – positive changes that come with normal aging. So they still seem to gain the wisdom that comes with greater life experience. But it doesn’t come at the cost of the energy and exuberance of youth. It’s not as if having a lower subjective age leaves us frozen in a state of a permanent immaturity.

Feeling younger than your years also seems to come with a lower risk of depression and greater mental well-being as we age. It also means better physical health, including your risk of dementia, and less of a chance that you will be hospitalized for illness.

Yannick Stephan at the University of Montpellier examined the data from three longitudinal studies that tracked more than 17,000 middle-aged and elderly participants.

Most people felt about eight years younger than their actual chronological age. But some felt they had aged – and the consequences were serious. Feeling between 8 and 13 years older than your actual age resulted in an 18-25% greater risk of death over the study periods and greater disease burden – even when you control for other demographic factors such as education, race or marital status.

There are many reasons why subjective age tells us so much about our health. It may be a direct result of those accompanying personality changes, with a lower subjective age meaning that you enjoy a greater range of activities (such as traveling or learning a new hobby) as you age. “Studies have found, for example, that subjective age is predictive of physical activity patterns,” Stephan says.

But the mechanism linking physical and mental well-being to subjective age almost certainly acts in both directions. If you feel depressed, forgetful, and physically vulnerable, you are likely to feel older. The result could be a vicious cycle, with psychological and physiological factors both contributing to a higher subjective age and worse health, which makes us feel even older and more vulnerable.

Stephan’s analysis, which is now in press in the journal of Psychosomatic Medicine, is the largest study of the effect of subjective age on mortality to date. These large effect sizes demand close attention. “These associations are comparable or stronger than the contribution of chronological age,” says Stephan.

Put another way:
 Your subjective age can better predict your health than the date on your birth certificate. 

With this in mind, many scientists are trying to identify the social and psychological factors that may shape this complex process. When do we start to feel that our minds and bodies operate on different timescales? And why does it happen?

For most people, subjective aging appears to occur on Mars, where one Earth decade equals only 5.3 Martian years.

Working with Nicole Lindner (also at the University of Virginia), Nosek has investigated how the discrepancy between subjective and chronological age evolves across the lifetime. As you might expect, most children and adolescents feel older than they really are. But this switches at around 25 when the felt age drops behind the chronological age.

By age 30, around 70% of people feel younger than they really are. And this discrepancy only grows over time. As Nosek and Lindner put it in their paper, “Subjective aging appears to occur on Mars, where one Earth decade equals only 5.3 Martian years.”

Lindner and Nosek also measured the “desired age” of their participants – which, to their surprise, also followed Martian time. “It keeps going up with us, and at a slightly slower rate than how we feel right now,” Nosek said. This would seem to “support the idea that we experience our life experiences as continuously getting better, just a bit more slowly than our actual experiences,” he says.

It’s not as if there is one single peak age. Again, this flip occurs in our mid-20s: 60% of 20-year-olds want to be older. But by the age 26, 70% would prefer to be younger, and from then on, most people view the recent past with the rosiest spectacles.

Kornadt’s study hinged on the idea that people’s subjective age might be a multifaceted thing that varies in different domains. You may feel differently when you think about yourself at work compared with when you think about your social relationships, for example. And so Kornadt asked participants whether they felt younger or older than they really were in different areas of life.

Sure enough, she found that people’s subjective ages were lower when negative age stereotypes are most prevalent – such as work, health, and finance – which would seem to support the idea that this thinking helps people distance themselves from the negative connotations of their age-group.

Believing  “I may be 65 but I only feel 50” ​ would mean you are less worried about your performance at work, for instance. Kornadt also found that people with a lower subjective age tended to imagine their future self in a more positive light.

By protecting us from our society’s dismal view of aging and giving us a more optimistic view of our future, this self-defense could, in turn, further explain some of the health benefits of feeling younger than you really are.

Despite these advances, scientists are only getting to grips with their potential implications. However, it is certainly possible that future interventions might try to reduce participants’ subjective age and improve their health. In one of the few existing studies, elderly participants in a fitness regime enjoyed greater strength gains if the experimenters praised their performance relative to other people of their age.

And given its predictive power – beyond our actual chronological age – Stephan believes that doctors should be asking all their patients about their subjective age to identify the people who are most at risk of future health problems to plan their existing health care more effectively.

In the meantime, these findings can give us a more nuanced view of how our brains and bodies weather the passing of time. However old you really are, it’s worth questioning whether any of those limitations are coming from within.

Life will never be the same again

Five months ago, desperate to get back out into the world and live a semi-normal life, I moved from Australia to a little beach town on the Pacific coast of Mexico. While it was undoubtedly one of the best decisions of my life, here are three things I wish I’d known before packing up my life and buying a one-way ticket to Mexico:

In hindsight, this was very naive of me, but prior to my arrival in Mexico, I had grand visions of perfecting my Spanish, chatting to the locals, immersing myself fully in the culture, language, and day-to-day life of Mexico. I was thrilled at the idea of learning another language, feeling like a local, and experiencing the real Mexico.

Boy, oh boy, was I wrong.

The reality has been more like receiving tiny snippets of Mexico, and great big doses of international tourism, flocks of remote ‘digital nomad’ workers, and everyone speaking English!

But it’s not all bad.

Because of this western influence, day-to-day life is incredibly comfortable. I can still find western coffee shops, practice my Spanish and enjoy tacos all in one place. I have the option every time I open my mouth to speak in Spanish or in English, I can choose to eat traditionally or enjoy Western/International food and I feel safe, knowing my community around me is comprised of a huge variety of men, women, and children from all over the world.

Tourism is a huge cornerstone to the Mexican economy and while the influence of western culture and gentrification is no doubt impacting the traditional culture, the money and opportunities brought in from this industry is also essential to the local economy. It’s a bit of a catch 22.

While this influence will fluctuate from town to town and region to region, I am learning to appreciate the combination of western convenience meets traditional Mexican culture. I love buying my fruit and veggies from my local tienda, yet also having the option to shop in an organic health food store. I love the choice of authentic street tacos or vegan brunch cafes. And I love being part of a community heralding from every corner of the earth.

Once in Mexico, it becomes common knowledge that the internet connection is genuinely pretty average. Ranging from great one second to complete outages that can last hours and hours if not days!

Yet everyone manages to get by. Just the other day the signal went out for the entire region leaving phone lines, wifi connections, and basically all technology useless for almost four hours.

Learning to lean into the flow and surrender to that which you can’t control (a.k.a. the wifi) can be a steep learning curve, yet also a powerful lesson in surrender. When the wifi is out, you have no choice but to go enjoy the beach, step away from your devices and just be present in this beautiful part of the world. It’s the perfect reminder to ground yourself, be present, and remember who you at your core.

If you want a more reliable connection, you can generally head to the bigger cities but even there, there are no guarantees. It’s just life in Mexico!

 Once you’ve tasted freedom, there is no going back. Life in Mexico is liberating, it’s exciting and it’s fun every single day. 

Imagine waking up each morning and starting your day with a beach swim or surf. Then taking your time to grab a coffee, say hi to a few neighbours and friends before working poolside or in a cute little cafe.

As you wrap up your workday, imagine yourself picking up some delicious Mexican food to take down to the beach, to enjoy with friends as you watch the sunset, sip a margarita, and marvel at the beauty of life all around you.

Once you start living a life like this, you can never go back. The idea of sitting in an office, commuting hours each day, or sitting in traffic is no longer viable. Once you’ve experienced this freedom, this beauty, and this way of living, life starts to feel fun and easy. Things start to align and flow like never before and suddenly, you feel lighter, brighter, and more yourself than you’ve ever experienced.

Of course, not every day is sunshine and rainbows, even in Mexico, but if you feel the pull to create a life for yourself here, or anywhere abroad, I could not recommend it more!

After five months in Mexico, I can’t imagine ever leaving. I feel incredibly grateful, privileged, and fortunate to live this lifestyle every day, but that is not to say you can’t achieve this too! With the state of the world, moving abroad can feel challenging and scary right now, but it is still available to you. The choice is always yours.

Exploring the ‘Blue Health’ phenomenon and the well-being benefits of oceans, lakes, and other bodies of water

Human beings are land animals. We have feet, not flippers. While our body needs water to survive, those needs don’t require that we submerge our heads in H2O.

You might think that diving into the water, like peering over a cliff’s edge, would provide a little adrenaline rush. But it turns out that just the opposite is true. “Water submersion has some counterintuitive calming effects,” says Roly Russell, Ph.D., a researcher at the Sandhill Institute for Complexity and Sustainability and first author of a 2013 Annual Reviews paper on the health benefits of time spent in nature.

When a person’s face is underwater, research has found that the heart rate slows and certain blood vessels constrict. Blood is redistributed from the limbs to the brain, heart, and other central organs. Vagal tone and parasympathetic nervous system activity — both of which are associated with the body’s “rest-and-digest” states — are turned up. At the same time, elements of the sympathetic nervous system and the body’s “fight-or-flight” responses tend to mellow out.

Russell says that these physiological shifts are known collectively as the human “dive response” or “dive reflex.” The dive reflex was first observed in marine mammals like seals, and it’s thought to help the mammalian body conserve oxygen when underwater.

In people, the dive reflex is especially pronounced in newborns, nearly all of whom will instinctively hold their breath, and whose heart rates will slow, when dunked in water. (Just blowing air on a crying infant’s face is often enough to trigger the dive reflex, which can calm a baby down.)

The human dive reflex is so reliable that ER doctors have used it to treat certain types of heart arrhythmias, including the type that occurs during panic attacks. (In one study, they triggered this reflex by asking patients to hold their breath and dunk their faces in cold water for 15 seconds.) Some researchers are exploring this and related water interventions as therapies for conditions ranging from anxiety to stroke.

The dive reflex is just one example of the deep connection that human beings have with water, and, more broadly, with nature. “It’s pretty unequivocally demonstrated that interacting with nature makes us happier and healthier people, and that those positive impacts on physiological and mental health are real and material,” Russell says.

Public health and urban-planning experts have long recognized the well-being benefits of parks, trees, and other “green spaces.” A 2016 research review conducted by the World Health Organization concluded that green spaces can reduce morbidity and mortality among city dwellers in part by reducing stress and boosting “psychological relaxation.”

While water often features in these green spaces — either intentionally, as is the case with an installed fountain or pool, or coincidentally in parks or walking paths situated near rivers and other bodies of water — the “blue” elements of these urban green scapes have tended to be glossed over in the health research.

But recently, the “Blue Health” initiative, a European research group led by scientists at the University of Exeter in the U.K., has found evidence that spending time in or around water may be just as beneficial to human health as spending time in green spaces.

“You can take almost all the green-space research, sub in the word blue, and find a lot of the same effects,” says Wallace J. Nichols, PhD, a marine biologist and former senior scientist at the non-profit Ocean Conservancy.  “Green space is good, but add a pond or a fountain or a lakeshore and it’s better.” 

Nichols is the author of Blue Mind, a book that explores the benefits of time spent in or around water. He says that being near water is naturally calming, which may help explain why so many of us seek out beaches or other water-adjacent destinations during our vacations. But water does more than combat stress or induce a state of relaxation.

 “Water is also a source of creativity and inspiration,” he says. “When you look at water, there’s what people describe as this soft fascination — something that is interesting and that holds your attention, but not in an information-rich way.” 

Why does water do all of this good work for us? One of the likely (though hard-to-prove) explanations is that because we need water to live, some part of the human brain may feel anxious when a source of water is out of sight or earshot.

Some evolutionary scientists have even speculated, controversially, that for major stretches of our species’ history, human beings may have spent significant amounts of time in and near water, which some have pointed to as an explanation for our lack of body hair and other water-friendly anatomical characteristics. (This is known as the “aquatic ape hypothesis.”)

Nichols also points out that, like forests and other natural environments, bodies of water possess qualities that could be considered the obverse of those elements of contemporary life that stress people out. “By that, I mean technology and screens, first and foremost,” he says. “Water takes you away from distractions and simplifies the visual landscape.”

Other researchers make this same point when discussing the auditory qualities of water — and of nature in general. “What is nature and what are nature sounds? I think the most important distinction you could start with is that these are not a text or a news story or a social media post — or something else purposely intended to make you angry or fearful or anxious,” says Orfeu Buxton, PhD, a professor of biobehavioral health at Pennsylvania State University.

Buxton says that much of today’s media and technology is compelling because it taps into the brain’s arousal-related networks — areas and systems that evolved to detect novelty and threats, and that is now being co-opted to keep a person’s attention riveted to a screen.

Water sounds — crashing waves, a babbling brook, falling rain — tend to have just the opposite characteristics, he says. They are rhythmic and usually build up or dissipate gradually, rather than suddenly, which are qualities that the brain finds inherently soothing.

Based on his work and research, Nichols says that people should put more effort into spending time in and around water — whether that water is “wild, domestic, or virtual.”

If you don’t have access to a beach, a lake, a pool, or some other swimmable body of water, he says that listening to the water, looking at pictures of water, or even taking a shower could offer some of the same rewards. “If you cross a river on your way to work, just pause and appreciate it,” he says. “When you take a shower, be more aware of how the water feels on every part of your body.”

Sandhill’s Russell says that many of the challenges of modern life may boil down to the fact that, as organisms, human beings are no longer living in environments to which our species is adapted. Spending more time around water and in nature may counteract those challenges. A 2020 study in the journal Frontiers in Psychology found that as little as 10 minutes spent in natural settings may be enough to provide well-being benefits.

“We don’t like the idea that these changes we’re making might have consequences that we’re ill-prepared for, or unequipped for,” he says of modern life. “We’ve evolved in natural spaces, so it seems naive to assume that we don’t have some pretty hardwired aspects of our well-being tied to those natural environments.”

History is filled with powerful forces that change the face of the Earth

Right now we are experiencing one, an explosion of a new coronavirus that has upended daily life. Forecasts of a change world are in the air once the pandemic is over, but no one really knows what the reset will be, if there is going to be one.

I think the best reset would be over happiness. There is an unquenchable drive for humans to seek happiness, but this means very different things at different times. A day laborer hauling stone to build a cathedral in the Middle Ages was happy, even inspired, by backbreaking physical work that never changed and ended with the breakdown of the body.

That way of being happy is unimaginable to modern people. In developed societies our formula for happiness generally involves the following: physical comfort, ample leisure, scientific medicine, higher education, endless distractions through entertainment and social media, and a steady supply of consumer goods. In the developing world these values are dominant, not as what people already have but what they aspire to have.

There have been many complaints about our way of being happy. It excludes the poor and widens the income gap around the globe. It is racially unjust; it dumbs down traditional education, flattens various cultures into one media culture, and wipes out local history and customs. Yet for all that, our way of being happy felt inexorable, and it was even branded as “the triumph of the West.”

Now that very inexorability has raised fatal risks, because Nature is complaining. The despoiled environment resulted from careless, reckless behavior that is difficult to reverse because all of us participate in it. The two centuries since the Industrial Revolution has raised global temperatures by a seeming fraction, perhaps 2 degrees Centigrade, moving so slowly that six generations were able to march to the tune of progress without thinking about the Earth.

Our way of being happy isn’t a modern trend, however. It goes back to the notion that human reality is the only reality, that animals and plants exist to serve us and don’t live on our high level. (This issue is very well articulated in a recent TED talk by British historian Greg Anderson. A human-centered reality goes to extremes when Nature itself is diminished to nothing more than a background, the scenery decorating the main event on stage: us.

Without changing our way of being happy, the pernicious effect of how we find happiness will continue and get amplified as developing economies in china and India adopt it for themselves. There will never be a return to religious traditions that revere the Earth as a goddess and Nature as the domain of divine forces. Religion isn’t going to resurface with any power over our consciences. Corporations are going to be driven by the need to satisfy their shareholders with rising profits.

The challenge is to raise our own well-being in such a way that we can pursue happiness in a sustainable world. This is going to be like reassembling a puzzle with new pieces put in place. Stop and ask yourself, would you be happier if…

It seems to me that a wide swath of the population would say that these measures, far from being onerous, would make them feel happier. Certainly each would have the effect of raising the total well-being of Earth’s human population.

As long as we insist on maintaining our present way of being happy, people won’t change. They will hide their heads in the sand not so much out of greed, stupidity, or selfishness as out of fear that cleaning up the planet will hurt them personally.

It is pure fantasy to believe in a magic-bullet technology that will make global deterioration go away overnight. Advanced technology will certainly play a part, but at bottom people want to be happy. If we can save the planet’s future by improving our own, a real solution will take place. I seriously doubt that any other solution has a chance.

Being a good friend sounds simple enough, but sometimes it’s not.

If you want to know how to be a good friend, there are basic rules to being a BFF.

Relationships make the world go ‘round, but that doesn’t mean that they make life here a carnival ride. Some relationships lift us up, challenge us, and make us better people, and then there are others that do the exact opposite. Not everyone knows how to be a good friend, but unfortunately, most of us think we do.

Friendships are like pieces of a puzzle. Some fit, and some don’t. If you have a friend who is going through a hard time, or you are going through people like they are disposable, then you may be looking for some guidance about how to be a good friend. It isn’t about being someone’s yes man or pin cushion. Nor is it about controlling other people.

The BFF code – how to be a good friend

Friendship involves caring for someone the way you do yourself, being honest, and knowing when to push and when to hold fast. If you want to know how to be a good friend, these are the 16 rules that make you an excellent person to be around.

If you are in a friendship and the other person has recently had a traumatic incident, it can become difficult to allow them to wallow. Learning to read the signs when someone just needs a hug or some sympathy is the best way how to be a good friend.

There will be some people who respond to a kick in the ass, while others need a little coddling to bring them back to life.

Some people will sit and stew for years without ever just moving on. There are times when, instead of attending their pity party, you need to show up with vodka lemonade to turn those lemons around. Sometimes someone needs to be presented the other side and given a little push to move on and see that their world isn’t disintegrating.

It is easy when you are friends with someone to get your feelings hurt. There are going to be times when your friend is having a hard time or going through drama. Hard times don’t always bring out the best in people, and sometimes they need somewhere to deposit their anger.

The first likely candidate is someone they love and feel safe around. Although difficult, sometimes you have to allow someone to vent, even if it feels personal, and not take it personally. Having heavy shoulders means being their sounding board and sometimes their dumping grounds. [Read: How to make a friend feel better – 21 ways to help a sad friend]

If you don’t agree with their side of the story, and you see them holding onto the belief that they were in the right isn’t exactly helping, then you have an obligation to be honest and tell them. Sure, it isn’t a fun thing to tell your friend that you saw their boyfriend with another girl.

But, if you want to know how to be a good friend, you need to be honest even when it hurts. Just make sure you stick around to pick up the pieces after you tear it all apart.

Sometimes we turn to the friends who tell us the best “story.” That means we don’t want to hear what we should; we want to hear what we want to hear. It always feels better to be the good guy, but it isn’t always best for our friends or friendships.

Telling someone what they need to hear may be a harder road to go down, but if you want to know how to be a good friend, you have to tell them what they might not want to hear instead of what will make them feel good.

We all have those friends who are very good at putting things into perspective and showing us the opposite side of a story. There are times when that is a good thing and then others when that sounds like they are negating our hurt or trying to convince us that what we feel isn’t real or true.

Playing devil’s advocate sometimes can feel non-supportive. At times, it may be better to just hold your tongue, nod your head, and wait for a later date to tell them the other side.

Everyone is a good friend when times are awesome, and life is a party. The real friends are the ones who stick around even after the music dies.

It is really simple to be someone who wants to be there during the fun times, but also hangs out to clean up after the fact. That takes more care and concern. Be the friend who is still there long after people have vacated.

Knowing how to be a good friend isn’t always about giving in and putting your own needs and wants aside. Being the martyr doesn’t make you a good friend.

Most people who play the martyr are doing so because they are trying to gain acceptance by being “nice,” not by being their genuine self. You don’t have to be someone’s pin cushion to be a good friend. In fact, that isn’t a real friendship at all.

There might be times when your friendship is getting too close, or things are just not clicking. Being a good friend means that you have to know when to take a break and give your friend some space. Blowing up their phone when they are obviously trying to gain some distance will tax the relationship and could potentially drive your friend away.

If you make plans with a friend, then you keep plans with a friend. If that hot guy calls and asks you out after a year of pining over him, then surely your friend will understand if you cancel. But if you never make concrete plans, or are always looking for something better to come along, that doesn’t scream friend… that screams shallow.

Knowing how to be a good friend involves putting your own wants aside. If your friend is going through a breakup, then don’t suggest a chick flick. Being empathetic means that you can put yourself in your friend’s shoes.

It isn’t always the case that birds of a feather flock together. If you are a mountain person and they are more of a Sunday afternoon drive, then make sure that you are doing what they want as much as they are doing what you want. Be there for them as much as they are for you, if you want to know how to be a good friend.

We all have that friend who is all drama. They are entertaining enough, but sometimes they are nothing more than sheer entertainment.

If you are the drama queen, then it might be time to check yourself and let someone else have the stage for a while. Drama is fun once in a while, but if that is all you have and all you talk about, it is bound to get old quickly. [Read: Drama queen alert – 12 steps to calmly deal with the diva]

Being a good friend is about keeping friendships in your thoughts. We can’t always pick up the phone or get together, but if you know that it has been a long time since you have been able to get together, then send them a nice “hi” in a text message just letting them know you are thinking about them.

In our chaotic world, it is easy to get busy and stop communicating with the people we love, but don’t take for granted they will always be there. Make sure to let them know how much they mean by doing the unique things that keep you connected.

It is hard when a new person joins the group or when you see your BFF getting along with someone new. A key tip for how to be a good friend is letting your friend have many friendships. Different people fulfill various needs that we have in life.

One person can’t be everyone to you, nor can you be to them. Try not to take it personally when you find that they had a party that you weren’t invited to, or that they went out and didn’t invite you to come along. It isn’t a competition; it is a friendship. And, you should both have many friends to fill the spaces and needs of your life.

Try not to have hot buttons or be too serious. If you want a friendship to survive, then you have to learn to roll with things. And, even if you are sensitive and hurt at times, you have to learn to confront or forgive.

Carrying around a whole lot of baggage is just a waste of energy, and it does nothing to make your friendship better. It only weighs you down and makes you behave distantly. [Read: How to make new friends as an adult – 15 ways to do it right]

Being a good friend is a two-way street. It is in human nature to be selfish, only see one side of a story *typically ours* and to want to be liked. Being a good friend isn’t about always giving in, or always taking. It is about a balance between giving and taking care of yourself while still caring for someone else.

The adage, treat others as you would want to be treated, is the best way to guide yourself through any situation. Easier said than done; sometimes you have to either play the good guy or bad guy or be the only honest voice in your friend’s life.

Figuring out how to be a good friend is never easy. But, if your heart is in the right place, you will always be the best friend you can be.