5 Simple ideas you can apply with ease — even if you’re busy.

When was the last time you sat still in silence and did nothing for a while?

A few hours ago?
Yesterday?
Last week?
No idea?

While we often try to squeeze more and more into our busy schedules, what really happens is that our need for speed leads to chaos.

We end up feeling more stressed, less focused, less connected, and less productive. When we’re under pressure, we often believe we need to hurry up and do more, while the real answer often lies in slowing down and sitting still. Each year, more and more people report that their lives have become busier and more stressful.

And one of the biggest threats to our mental health is today’s glorified “hustle culture” that makes so many people believe that their worth as human beings is defined by their level of productivity.

But that’s not true.

Instead of measuring your productivity by how many to-dos you get done, measure it by how much time you spend doing things you genuinely care about.

As Jay Shetty writes in Think Like a Monk:

Next time you want to say, “I don’t have time,” stop for a moment and ask yourself if that’s true or if it’s just an excuse.

If you really don’t have time to do something you’d like to do, it’s time to reflect on your priorities and your weekly schedule.

While more and more people think of busyness as a badge of honor, the truth is that “not having time” for the things you care about is a sign that things are going wrong.

Most people are in a constant state of busyness because they confuse being busy with being productive or effective. You can be busy doing insignificant things all day long and barely move forward. And you can spend an hour being focused and doing meaningful work that’s more valuable than 10 hours of busy work.

While saying “I don’t have time” might make us seem ambitious and hardworking, the truth is that there’s nothing more valuable than having time for the activities and people you care about.

Next time you want to say, “I don’t have time,” ask yourself whether that’s true. If it’s true, ask yourself how you could eliminate tasks and appointments to have more space in your daily schedule. And if it’s not true, don’t use it as an excuse. Don’t confuse busyness with achievement, and just tell the truth.

While the world around us is constantly becoming louder, quicker, and bigger, the best we can do for our nervous system and our mental health is slowing down during everyday activities.

This might sound a little weird, but it’s exactly the kind of rebellious act that helps you break free from the patterns you’ve been following for years or even decades.

When I first tapped into the world of personal growth, I tried to be faster, better, and more productive all the time.

I was obsessed with the idea of making the most out of my time, so I was listening to podcasts whenever possible, watching YouTube videos to learn something new while eating my meals, and squeezing short work sessions in between appointments, just to get a little more done.

After three years of trying to make use of every minute, I discovered that it only made me feel stressed and anxious, not accomplished or happy. In fact, I even felt miserable whenever I didn’t consume content while completing basic tasks because I felt as if I was wasting my time.

Looking back, I know that I was wrong.

I had good intentions and wanted to learn more and be more productive, but this constant state of alertness only led to a constant fight-or-flight mode. I listened to podcasts and videos on x2, the actual speed, and I was consuming loads of content that wasn’t even relevant to me.

Nowadays, I embrace the power of doing just one thing at a time. When I eat by myself, I eat in silence and avoid screens or noise. When I prepare my cup of coffee in the afternoon, I enjoy it by sitting on the couch and staring out the window. When I do the laundry, I focus on the laundry.

When I run errands, I focus on my shopping list and the shelves in the supermarket instead of additionally bombarding my mind with podcasts, audiobooks, or music. I even work out in silence sometimes.

As Lao Tzu once famously said:

In the end, slowing down is a choice. But it’s a tough one because you’ve been conditioned to be quicker for your entire life. Nobody ever tells us to take our time and do things slowly. Everyone just wants you to speed up and be more “efficient.”

The good news is that you are the one who makes the rules. And I invite you to choose the ease of doing things slowly more often.

One of the many reasons we always try to be quicker is that the world changes so quickly. We can stay up to date on everything happening around the globe by refreshing our browsers and social media feeds. And whenever we hit refresh, new information pops up.

We’re trying to connect with global brands, influencers, and happenings around the globe, yet, we often forget to connect with ourselves. Our desire to be up to date all the time isn’t only stressful but also confusing. By allowing yourself to be less connected to the outside world, you’ll have more time and space to be connected to yourself and the few people you genuinely care about.

I know that reducing your phone usage and screen time isn’t easy, but I encourage you to pick one specific time of your day that you’ll spend screen-free. It could be the first or last 30 minutes of your day, your lunch break, your commute, or any other time that works for you.

Start with a dedicated no-screen time and see how it helps you feel less anxious and more grounded. Once you experience these positive effects, you’ll want to disconnect more often anyway.

The simplest and cheapest way to organize your thoughts, let go of stress, and gain clarity is journaling.

Next time you feel a little overwhelmed, anxious, and unfocused, grab a journal or a piece of paper and start scribbling. The best thing about journaling is that there’s no right or wrong — you can do it the way you want to do it. You can do a simple brain dump and just write down anything on your mind or use a pre-structured journal that helps you reflect on your days.

One of the most popular forms of journaling is writing morning pages. This method was popularized by author Julia Cameron. The primary purpose of morning pages is to help you get rid of anxiety, negative thoughts, and distractions by getting them out of your mind onto a piece of paper.

According to Cameron, you should write your morning pages (surprise, surprise) in the morning and write around three pages. The good news, however, is that (once again) you can make your own rules. Write whenever you feel like it or whenever you need it. Write one single line or an entire book.

The beauty of journaling is that you can’t make mistakes, and no matter how long or short your journaling session is, you’ll always feel a sense of relief by getting your thoughts out of your mind.

Even though I usually prefer small habits over radical changes, we sometimes need an extreme approach to make a significant change.

If you feel overwhelmed by your everyday life, a radical reset might help you gain clarity and perspective. Most people are victims of consumerism and end up owning way too much stuff that clutters their homes and lives.

Whenever I feel like I need a significant change, I start by making space — mentally and physically. I review my wardrobe and get rid of clothes I didn’t wear for months. I clean my kitchen and get rid of items I don’t use.

I take a look at my calendar and eliminate activities and appointments that don’t make me happier or take me closer to my long-term goals. I archive all emails and messages in my inboxes. I delete, archive, or organize all sorts of documents, apps, photos, and videos on my laptop and phone.

Getting rid of things, organizing our digital and physical spaces, and tidying up gives us a sense of relief and ease. Sometimes, doing a little reset can be exactly what you need to gain more clarity.

It’s not your fault, but you can overcome it.

Did you ever feel like something’s wrong with you because you’re not happy? As if you’re making mistakes because everyone around you seems to be so much happier than you?

Or did you ever think of all the things that could go wrong in your life even though everything’s actually fine? Well, you’re not alone.

I’ve never been a cheerful person, and growing up, I always wondered if something’s wrong with me. People constantly asked me if everything was okay because I looked so grumpy.

I didn’t even think of faking smiles to avoid those annoying questions, but deep inside, I felt irritated.

According to a study carried out by psychologists at Queen’s University, more than 6,000 thoughts cross our minds every day. But what’s even more fascinating is that most of those thoughts are negative or repetitive — or both.

In 2005, the National Science Foundation published an article describing how 80% of our thoughts are negative, and more than 90% are exactly the same thoughts as the day before.

Negative thoughts and emotions can have different backgrounds. Most of the time, we don’t even know why exactly we’re feeling bad.

But the most overlooked fact is that your brain isn’t wired to make you happy. The main purpose of your brain is to keep you safe and make sure you survive. Your body, and particularly your brain, don’t care whether you’re happy.

According to research published in Science Advances, our brains are 40,000 years old. Now, if you lived 40,000 years ago, survival was indeed your main ambition.

Our ancestors were much more concerned about staying safe because tiny mistakes or accidents could lead to their death.

Centuries ago, this negativity bias served an important purpose: survival.

That’s why it made sense for them to be worried about safety and survival.

The bad news is that our brains are still wired similarly, even though most of us aren’t concerned about survival anymore.

Instead of saving us from wild animals and death, our brains now try to protect us from all sorts of negative experiences — no matter if that’s a heartbreak or an embarrassing moment at a party.

Your brain also doesn’t like surprises — that’s why you often think about the next bad thing and prefer being well prepared for negative things that might happen, even if they’re unrealistic.

That’s why we sometimes make a mountain out of a molehill and turn small struggles into huge problems.

The good news, however, is that we can change the way we think, behave, and ultimately feel, even if the #1 priority of our brains is to keep us alive.

The fact that your brain is more receptive to negativity doesn’t mean that you’re meant to live a negative life. You can choose your thoughts, which lead to changes in your emotions, which again change the way you act and the results you create.

The truth is, you can’t always control the thoughts that bounce around in your mind. But you can indeed control what you focus on.

Each moment, you decide what you focus on.

When you wake up in the morning, you decide whether you scroll through endless social media news or if you follow a mindful morning routine.

When eating your meals, you decide whether you turn the TV on or enjoy each bite in silence.

When waiting for a bus or being stuck in traffic, you decide whether you let negative emotions and anger take control over your life or if you use the time to practice gratitude.

Choosing the bright side isn’t always easy, but it’s more fun. This isn’t about faking smiles or toxic positivity but about making the most of your life.

According to Eric Barker, an effective strategy to control your thoughts and better manage your emotions is to ask yourself if a thought is useful.

Asking yourself, “Is this useful?” helps you assess whether the thought deserves your attention or not.

Whenever you pause for a moment and question the usefulness of a thought, you’re consciously deciding whether you want to dedicate time and space to that thought.

If the thought or concern is useful, paying more attention to it might be a good idea. And if it’s not, you can replace it through other, more productive thoughts.

Above all, asking yourself if a thought is useful helps you get a neutral perspective on your emotions.

If you’re struggling to let go of the useless thoughts, try this: Write your negative thoughts on a piece of paper, crumple it up, and throw it away — physically and mentally.

Keep in mind that controlling your mind and creating a happier life is not about being cheerful all the time.

It’s about giving less space to unwanted and unproductive thoughts and emotions, so you have more time and energy for your desired feelings and experiences.

We all know that life is short and time is precious, but what’s even more valuable is our energy. And the truth is, negativity absorbs your mental and physical energy.

When you’re constantly worried, afraid, and in fight-or-flight mode, you don’t have much time and energy left for positive experiences.

Sometimes, negative thoughts are validated, and we experience them for a good reason.

Shit happens to all of us. We get rejected, experience unexpected losses, and come across small and big disasters from time to time.

In those moments of desperation, it’s okay, and even helpful, to embrace the negative feelings we experience.

There’s no point in sugarcoating the reality when life sucks. But the truth is that most of your days don’t suck. Most of the time, life is okay, and your brain is still trying to keep you unhappy.

It’s those days when you need to take responsibility and get in the driver’s seat of your life.

According to author Bronnie Ware, one of the five biggest regrets people have on their deathbeds is: I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

Most of the time, we don’t even realize that our small daily thoughts, decisions, and actions ultimately shape who we are and the reality we experience.

I’ve found the easiest way to positively impact your thinking and life is to focus on one goal: Becoming your best self.

As a teenager, I didn’t have any motivation to be more cheerful or happy. I was annoyed when people asked me why I looked so grumpy all the time.

Today, I know that a grumpy life is certainly not the best life, and I choose the bright side whenever possible.

This doesn’t mean I ignore the bad or never face problems. It just means that I know exactly who I want to be and give my best to show up as her every single day.

Sometimes, I succeed. Sometimes, I don’t. But above all, I keep getting closer to that best version of myself.

Whenever you make decisions, no matter how small or big they are, ask yourself what your best self would do.

Choose with your best you in mind and take little steps that will make your future self proud of you.

Don’t confuse this with a lack of authenticity. We’re not trying to fake who we are. We’re just showing up as the best version of ourselves because we all deserve to live a good life.

​Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like.

More than 2,000 years ago, the Greek philosopher Aristotle stated that happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim, and end of human existence.

Yet, the problem is that humans aren’t designed to be happy. We’re designed to stay safe, survive, and reproduce. A constant state of happiness and satisfaction would make us more vulnerable and threaten our survival. That’s why you often find yourself worrying, even though there’s not much to worry about and life seems to be okay.

The second problem, however, is that most people view happiness as a response to a particular event or situation. They think they’ll be happy if something happens.

“I’ll be happy when I make more money” or “I’d be so much happier if I’d finally lose some weight” are common thoughts of millions of people across the globe.

But here’s the truth: Genuine satisfaction isn’t tied to a specific outcome. It’s not an if-then-clause. It’s a way of living your life with honest appreciation despite hardships and setbacks.

If your happiness is tied to an outcome, you won’t ever find long-term satisfaction because you’ll always chase the next milestone, the next increase, the next award.

The moment you hit the finish line, you’ll raise your standards and start from scratch. And even though chasing goals can be fun, contentment shouldn’t be a goal; it should be a sustainable and stable part of your life. As Deepak Chopra preaches:

And quite often, happiness is not about the things we do but about the things we avoid.

You can only be genuinely satisfied if you can be yourself. Too often, we try to satisfy anyone around us: Our parents, teachers, bosses, society,… but forget ourselves.

And the harsh reality is that all these people will likely have expectations about how you should be. But if you follow their wishes, you’ll end up being who they want you to be, not who you really are.

Happiness starts within yourself and genuinely satisfied people don’t let others mess up with their priorities.

You need to live with the consequences of your choices and mistakes, not your friends or family members. So you might as well make your own decisions and live life according to your rules.

This won’t only ensure that you live your best life, but it’ll also help you show up in your best possible version for all the people around you. And as Mandy Hale claims:

According to Amartya Sen, a Nobel Prize-winning economist, societies that allow their citizens to expand their level of freedom and independence see a corresponding boost in the quality of their lives. He states that freedom is both the end and the means to sustain general welfare across the globe.

Most people love sharing their own two cents on pretty much anything even if they don’t have much to say. Just think of the recent pandemic: Suddenly, everyone seemed to be a virologist and an expert on vaccines.

Even if we know that our opinion is biased, subjective, and probably not even valuable, we often feel the urge to share it. That’s partly because we struggle to say, “I don’t know”.

But here’s the truth:  Most of the time, staying silent is better than spreading wrong information or sharing your unsolicited opinion. 

If someone’s genuinely happy and satisfied, she doesn’t feel the urge to constantly share her opinion and give unsolicited advice. Instead, she can openly communicate that she doesn’t know everything.

Getting support and receiving meaningful advice is great if you ask for it. Yet, people who share their two cents without being asked are annoying, not helpful.

Genuinely satisfied people know that failures and setbacks are vital in life and don’t beat themselves up when they make mistakes. They learn their lessons and move on.

Too often, we waste endless hours being angry at ourselves because of a failed opportunity or a mistake we made in the past. Yet, the key to living a genuinely satisfying life lies in acknowledging failures as opportunities so we can make the most out of them.

Failing isn’t pleasant, but it’s a vital driver for growth. And as Paulo Coelho states:

Making progress is about trying your best, not about avoiding mistakes. If you make smart decisions, ask for help, and give your best, you’ll eventually reach your desired destination.

If you waste endless hours judging yourself for past failures, you’ll eventually lack the time, energy, and passion to make great things happen.

If you’re genuinely satisfied, it becomes easier to ignore the nonsense happening around you. You don’t feel the urge to stay up to date on everything that’s happening in the world. You aren’t excited about being on every new social network that pops up.

Most importantly, you don’t waste your time and energy being frustrated about other people’s behavior. By disregarding these things, you have more time and space to appreciate the small pleasures in life.

By limiting the time you spend scrolling through endless social media feeds, you might suddenly have time for a relaxing cup of tea or coffee.

By taming your emotions and arguing less with your partner, you might be able to read more books that light up your heart and soul.

Most of the time, the small pleasures in life are what make it worth living. Yet, we often find ourselves chasing big wins and end up frustrated when we realize that the increase of our income, a faster car, or the luxury handbag didn’t really make us happier or more fulfilled.

If you want to be genuinely satisfied, make more time and space for the small pleasures in your daily life. As Eckhart Tolle preaches:

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”

Happy people tend to be more grateful than others. And they’re not thankful for their Porsche or their Louis Vuitton bags but for all the small things and moments.

Think of all the things in your life that make you happy and ask yourself how you could add more of them into your daily life, even if it’s just a few minutes per day.

Schedule them in your calendar as if it’s a critical appointment because that’s what they are. Turn your happy moments into anchors in your life instead of viewing happiness as an outcome.

If you see someone putting others down, sending hateful messages, or sharing negative comments, you can be sure this person is not satisfied with their own reality. There’s always room for constructive feedback, criticism, and different opinions but putting others down is a mere reflection of your own insecurities and struggles.Genuinely satisfied people don’t feel the desire to offend, insult, or harm other people. They focus on their own lives and try to be supportive instead of destructive. They try to lift others up instead of looking down on them.

Studies even prove that others’ happiness can rub off on you:

“People’s happiness depends on the happiness of others with whom they are connected. This provides further justification for seeing happiness, like health, as a collective phenomenon.”

People who report being happy are often surrounded by happy people. If one of your friends or family members reports being happy, your likelihood to be satisfied increases by 15.3 percent.

Another study states that happiness is contagious.

“..when a person becomes happy, a friend living close by has a 25 percent higher chance of becoming happy themselves. A spouse experiences an 8 percent increased chance and for next-door neighbors, it’s 34 percent.”

Long story in short: Happiness, just like misery, is infectious. If you feel good, those around you will feel better too. If you spread negativity and hate, you’ll feel the same way yourself.

If someone’s constantly interrupting a conversation, it’s a sign that they feel the urge to be present and heard. Genuinely satisfied people, however, can remain silent and listen to others’ voices without freaking out.

And even though speaking and sharing your ideas is more fun than shutting up, the reality is that your ability to remain silent tells a lot about you.

And the reality is that nobody likes being around someone who’s constantly talking about himself. Yet, that’s what most extroverted people do all the time without even realizing that they’re annoying their conversation partners.

If you’re genuinely satisfied with the results you create and how you live your life, it shouldn’t be hard to sit back and relax while others share their stories and thoughts.

Sometimes, you even need to ask yourself whether you want to be right or happy. And if you choose happiness, you might want to stay quiet instead of sharing your two cents on any topic.

In the end, genuine satisfaction is a state of mind and it’s not related to your behavior in the outside world.

You can’t be genuinely satisfied if you’re always feeling tired. Yet, the reality is that most adults feel exhausted most of the time.

According to a U.S. survey by Virgin Pulse, 76 percent of employees report feeling tired many days of the week. And the problem is that studies prove our risk for depression increases when we don’t get enough rest and sleep.

Additionally, we’re also much likelier to experience high levels of stress when we’re not well-rested. Being fit, healthy, and well-rested adds quality to your life and helps you stay positive and focused during challenging situations.

A well-rested mind also helps us process our emotions and communicate more effectively with our fellows.

Avoiding them might change your whole life.

When I first tapped into personal development, I tried to build as many positive habits as possible.

I set up a morning routine, started to meditate, went to the gym frequently, and read at least one book per week. Yet, a year later, I didn’t feel happier, more fulfilled, or improved. And I didn’t understand why my life didn’t change even though I built all these new, powerful routines.

 Change your habits and you’ll change your life  is one of the bold promises of the self-help world and I didn’t know why it didn’t work for me. But it’s true: Your routines can change your life. Yet what I overlooked is that those good routines aren’t worth much if you don’t let go of your negative habits first.

Quite often, it’s our little, harmful routines that break our success, not the lack of good ones. The following habits are certainly not easy to give up, but once you let go of them, you won’t only feel relieved but also much more energized in your daily life.

Did you ever make a great decision because you spent lots of time thinking about it? Me neither. The truth is that we never make good choices by overthinking.

According to Malcolm Gladwell, we make all our choices in the blink of an eye. Yet, we are not aware of it and want to have a logical reason. That’s why we over-complicate most of our decisions.

In his book Blink, Gladwell explains how all our decisions are based on our intuition. We don’t make the right decisions by thinking logically, we just try to find arguments for decisions we already made based on our gut feeling.

But life is so much easier and fun if you go with the flow, allow yourself to make mistakes, and correct your course on the way. Spending time to think about problems or decisions might sound smart, but it isn’t. Most people are overthinking everyday situations and end up spending hours and hours without producing results.

Small steps can lead to enormous changes: Why not try to choose your next meal in a restaurant quicker than you’d usually do?

Why not be the one who suggests where to go and what to do when hanging out with your friends instead of saying, “I don’t know.” or “I don’t care.”?

Try to take control of the small things in your life. Give your best to make the unimportant decisions as quickly as possible.

How often do you get discouraged because of other people’s opinions? The odds are high that your answer is too often.

The bad news is that you’ll never be able to satisfy everybody. The good news, however, is that it doesn’t matter. You have one life and you don’t need to waste it by living up to the standards of others.

You can’t be everybody’s darling, but you can indeed be your own hero and save yourself. Stop muting your inner voice to satisfy others and start sharing your light with the world.

So many people waste their lives looking forward to the weekend. This is a particularly dangerous trap for people who aren’t happy in their jobs and spend the whole week surviving instead of living.

But the truth is that weekends are just a small part of your life. You can’t be unhappy from Monday to Friday and expect the weekend to compensate for these negative feelings. A week is a great period to set small, realistic goals and track your progress. And if you like what you do, each Monday is a new opportunity to create an amazing week.

Nobody hates Mondays. You either hate your job, your coworkers, your boss, or something else related to Monday, but certainly not the day itself.

If you live a life you love, you’ll appreciate each day as an opportunity to share your gift with the world. Stop blaming Monday and identify the part of your life you really hate. That’s the only way to eliminate it and create a week and life you truly enjoy.

You don’t have to be cheerful about everything that happens in life. Yet, your fear shouldn’t hold you back. We all know that things could be way worse at any point in our lives.

Even the fact that you are reading this article right now indicates that you are among the wealthier, more privileged people of the world. Life is changing faster than ever before and we might be facing new challenges every single day. That’s why the most adaptable people will always win in the long run.

Stop being afraid is easier said than done, but it’s probably one of the most underrated pieces of advice. Even if changes might be uncertain, there is almost always a positive aspect to them.

Most of us grow up being taught to play it safe, get a well-paid job, build security, and avoid changes. Yet, change can also mean improvement. Every challenge in your life will help you to improve and become a better version of yourself. Be courageous, keep your eyes on the positive aspects, and try new things.

And if it still gets too scary, ask yourself the following question: What’s the worst thing that can happen? Quite often, you’ll realize that the worst thing isn’t that bad.

How often do you find yourself doing something just to make someone else happy? Sure, sometimes, it’s great and necessary to do something just for the sake of making someone happy, but most of the time, the problem is our inability to say no.

If you can’t say no to the wrong things, you won’t be able to say hell yeah to the projects, people, and opportunities that truly excite you.

Be aware of your self-worth. Remind yourself of what you want and what you need to do for it. Saying yes to others often means saying no to yourself. If you always try to please others, you’ll be ignoring your own desires.

The first step, however, is to know what you are actually aiming for. You need to be aware of your life purpose, your goals, and your priorities. Once you know your priorities and the things you want to achieve, you will waste less time on the wishes of others.

Every single day, we’re being bombarded with thousands of sales pitches. Making purchases is simpler than ever before and great marketers know how to catch our attention, even if we don’t need anything.

Yet the harsh truth is that overspending will not only ruin you financially, but it’ll also harm other areas of your life. You can’t increase the quality of your life if you always live paycheck to paycheck and are surrounded by stuff you don’t need.

Get used to saving your money before spending it and avoid the trap of wasting your entire paycheck on consumer goods. Sooner or later, you might face unexpected emergencies.

When these situations occur, you’ll be glad to have a safety net instead of waiting for your next payment.

The surest way to live a miserable life is by spending too much time worrying about the past. If you want to be happy and fulfilled, you need to learn how to be present and enjoy the small joys of everyday situations.

Instead of thinking about your past mistakes or fearing the future, try to be fully present right now. Because now is to only time you can influence and change. You can’t change anything about the past, and you can’t determine your future. But you can give your very best to enjoy every moment and live intentionally.

Start focusing on the now. What can you do today to live your best life? Set daily intentions, focus on your goals, and think of all the things you are grateful for.

Journaling, for example, is an excellent method to be more present and focus on the given moment. By writing down what you’re grateful for and what you feel at any given moment, you’ll learn to be more present and listen to your inner self.

Imagine having a friend who followed you 24/7, telling you things like:

Would you enjoy the company of that friend? You probably wouldn’t.

Yet, too often, we are this friend ourselves. Most people are professionals in talking themselves down. But your relationship with yourself is the most important one.  You are the only person who’ll be with you forever. 

So make sure to get on well with yourself and be your own cheerleader instead of your own critic.

Your future self will thank you.

I’m a firm believer that opportunities don’t come to people by coincidence.

I’m convinced that you’re responsible for creating your own opportunities every single day.

 How you spend today defines the person you’ll be tomorrow.  What you do one day at a time eventually makes up your entire life. And ignoring this simple yet crucial rule is why most people live unhappy, unfulfilled lives for decades.

They want to have a healthier body and be in better shape by summer, but they don’t get their ass up in winter. They want to build a profitable digital business and quit their 9-to-5, but they choose Netflix over hustle on weekends. They want a happy, healthy relationship, but don’t go the extra mile for their partner.

They never achieve their dreams, because they choose to get back to sleep instead of getting up and doing the work. I don’t believe that we’re meant to stay the same and live boring lives. As Lou Holtz once said:

At our core, boredom is not what we desire. We all want to live meaningful, rich lives. Rich of experiences, love, and fulfillment. But this richness comes at a cost. And the majority isn’t willing to pay the price.

Loving each other is not enough.

Have you ever wished you could find a little more joy and love in your relationship?

Or maybe you struggle to end fights quickly and often find yourself in a doom-loop of negative feelings instead of having each others’ back during hard times?

If so, you’ve probably found yourself wondering while others seem to have perfectly loving partners and well-functioning relationships while you don’t. And you might also have read a book or two about relationships and why they fail, but here’s the problem with all of this:

You don’t need someone to talk about your mistakes, you need concrete action steps to improve your behavior. What you need is action and practice.

While most of us grow up watching Disney movies and listening to fairy tales on how they lived happily ever after, real relationships are complex.

A healthy, strong relationship is determined by so many factors, including the personality traits of the partners, but also external factors. Our stress levels, psychological and environmental factors, emotions, life events, and current circumstances are all challenges our relationships need to overcome daily.

While falling in love is easy, having a strong, healthy, and happy relationship is based on hard work. And everyone who’s trying to tell you the opposite is either lying, didn’t ever experience a long-term relationship or is incredibly lucky.

Everyone wants a vibrant, loving, strong relationship, and the good news is that you can actually do a lot to achieve that goal. Great relationships are no coincidence. They are based on certain values and principles that both partners are comfortable with and rely on.

And while every relationship is different, some of these principles do apply for most of us.

These habits are just a reminder, and you probably already know the importance of them. However, it pays to make a conscious effort in applying them more often.

Honest, effective communication is so much more than just talking to each other. Contrary to most people’s belief, real love requires action. It doesn’t just happen. Sounds too obvious? Unfortunately, for most couples, it isn’t.

Source | Featured image by Relevante design on Unsplash