A great deal has been written about marriage and relationships, ways to boost sexual pleasure, increase passion and satisfy your spouse. Clearly what happens before, during as well as after sex are important to a healthy and satisfying marriage.
Many couples fail to recognize that the power and experience of love-making are not isolated from the act of sex. The physical closeness, blending and merger of two bodies mirror a powerful emotional interconnection that occurs during sex. This emotional bubble created during physical intimacy is felt more strongly by the woman.
It has been seen that the man after attaining physical satisfaction during sex gets so tired by the activity that he doses off without caring to find out whether his partner has reached orgasm or not. The female partner, in such circumstances feels incomplete, not only physically but emotionally as well.
According to sex counselor Dr Prema Bali, “In a situation where the man falls asleep immediately after intercourse leaving the woman restless, it only means one thing and that is…the woman was not physically satisfied.”
Explaining her point she says, “For male, sex is more related to physical pleasure but for female sex is an emotional experience. For her, sex is more of an extension of mental satisfaction and love rather than physical satisfaction.”
A man’s falling asleep immediately after sex or distancing himself from his partner is no less than mental torture for a woman. The dissatisfaction that a woman experiences after sex, makes her feel like the most helpless person on this earth. On this Dr Prema cites, “Most of the cases which I receive complaint of this problem. About 70 out of 100 women come to me with similar problem. But this problem is not confined to after-intercourse-reaction. Many times, the root cause of this problem is so vivid that it has a serious impact on the relation.
Apart from sex, a woman also desires love, importance, respect and emotional bonding from her husband. If for some reasons, both fail to connect on all these points then sex just becomes a physical activity for them. This does not affect the man as much as it affects the woman. Here we can say that nature has made women so sensitive that she naturally tends to think deeply on this matter. That is why, she feels incomplete even after intercourse.”
In such a case, it is the responsibility of the male to understand the mental state of his partner. He should try to find out her reason of displeasure.
Dr Prema says, “This problem can be tackled by mutual understanding. Many times, other issues also affect sexual relationship.
If a couple reaches to a point of understanding in physical matters then the sexual satisfaction is enhanced. But few similarities are essential for understanding each other like same habits, similar culture and sharing a similar thought. If a man takes the initiative and tries to find out what would satisfy his wife and what are her desires, it will be easy for the wife to open up and share her feelings about sexual pleasure.”
It has been seen that sexual relationship undergoes a change with time. Everyday stress and problems of family life take a toll on sexual relationship of a couple and foreplay or pre-play gradually fade away.
Citing the significance of foreplay Dr Prema says, “Pre-play plays a significant role in arousing a woman. A man can book a place in a woman’s heart if he makes her feel that she is beautiful and wanted and respects her emotions. He can make her feel and realise all these through foreplay.
With foreplay, a woman can equally make her move during sex. And when both the partners participate with equal enthusiasm in sex, then both can receive optimum satisfaction. If both the partners enjoy sex then both of them will get satisfaction and pleasure after the activity. If the male partner ensures equal participation of his wife in sex, then even her satisfaction level will also be at pat with her spouse.”